above is my father: do you have what it takes to be the perfect employee?
My workload has gotten a little too high, so I am looking to hire someone into the Yunderson Labs team.
These are the job qualifications of what I consider the perfect employee:
01. Never gets sick, so that they never miss work
02. Because of #01, I don’t have to buy them health insurance
03. Does not have living family (parents, uncles, aunts, siblings, children) of any kind to answer to
04. Does not have dogs or cats or pets of any kind; or plants or fish or anything living at home, so nothing can die due to the inevitable neglect to come
05. Never complains
06. Is technically proficient in every task possible for my company
07. Is on call 24x7x365
08. Always online
09. Never goes on vacation
10. Never asks for a raise
11. Never asks for training
12. Gives me personal “loans” of untraceable cash
13. Buys me lunch regularly
14. Happily accepts pay cuts to increase the profit that I can take home to my family
15. Allows me to lay him off anytime I want when there is less work, and waits for me to hire him back
16. Readily accepts demotions
17. Readily accepts degrading comments like "you're a total loser who will never amount to anything in your life other than making me more rich."
My name is Dae Yu.